Let me start by telling you about that excitement that has been in my heart since I was baptized on Sunday. It is hard to put into words how I have felt the Spirit move in my life the past few days, and how my heart has changed just by deciding to take that step and show everyone how Christ has changed my life. I feel so much more peace. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. In some ways I feel fearless, ready to take on the world. I know the Lord has been good to slowly bring me back to Him over these past few months, but the goodness I've seen from Him in my obedience to follow what he was leading me to do in baptism has been overwhelming. Thank you all for being a part of this story with me!
What I have on my heart to share today is something I have struggled with for a long time and something I am still learning how to fight...fear, anxiety, and worry.
Thursday morning as I got out of my fitness class at Central Church, I pickup up my phone and read messages from my sister-in-law who was hiding in her classroom on the Mississippi State Campus literally fearing for her life as they announced there was an active shooter on campus. We all know now that everything is okay. You can even read her story here: http://theodysseyonline.com/csu/mississippi-state-university-shooting-scare-interview/153860. They caught the guy, and no shots were actually fired, but as I picked up the phone and read her messages you can imagine the the emotions that were running through my mind. I immediately went over to a group of girls at the gym and told them what was going on and we prayed. I read that the "shooter" had been caught, calmed down a little and walked downstairs to the bookstore to pick up a few books.
Her messages started coming again as there was fear of a second shooter. I told the ladies in the bookstore what was going on and one of them stood there and prayed with me again. Fear began creeping in as I tried to process what was happening and think of something calming to say to her. There really was nothing I could have said to help the situation, so I just sat down on the floor in the middle of the bookstore overwhelmed with emotion. It was then that the Lord reminded me of the passage out of Psalms 91 that I remember my journey girls talking about awhile back.
Psalm 91:9-10 "If you say, "The Lord is my refuge," and make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent."
Because of the anxiety and fear that I often experience, I have been reading this entire passage over and over again and it was amazing to see how it came to my mind when I really needed it. (I'm learning that's how the Holy Spirit works). I looked it up on my phone, read it, and sent a screen shot to Hannah. I don't know if it helped calm her or not, but for me, it was amazing how at peace I felt even in the midst of such an uncertain moment. The Lord spoke to my heart and said, "No matter what happens she is safe with me, and you don't need to worry about this."
Wow! For someone who has been afraid of so many things for so long, I felt like that was huge for me to actually feel the Lord comfort me in the midst of a real life crisis that felt like life or death in that moment. "She is safe with me no matter what." Isn't that the truth? We are safe with Him. He has everything in his hands and whether we are here on earth or with Him in heaven, we are safe, and there is such comfort in that.
This song has spoken so true to me over the past few weeks. You can listen here if you like, or read the words below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hi-VMxT6fc
You make me brave, You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave, You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the promises You've made
You make me brave, You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way
-Bethal Music
When we are living in an abiding relationship with Christ, when we believe his love made a way, and when we believe his promises are true, we don't have to live in fear. We feel safe. We are free to be brave, to be strong, and to be courageous because he gives us that boldness. We don't have to fear what will happen to our loved ones because they are safe with him. We don't have to fear the thorns in our lives because his grace is sufficient. He makes us brave.
That being said, I am weak in believing this and living it out, and I believe many of you are as well. That's why it's so important for us to encourage each other with this. I have a tendency to let my flesh take over. I remember a few weeks ago my husband Bobby was late coming home from work. My tendency is to begin to think about the worst possible thing that could have happened. In my mind, he had either electrocuted himself at work or had been in a traffic accident and was not coming home. Before I heard from him, in my mind I had already planned his funeral and decided which cat I would have to get rid of because I was not going to be a crazy cat lady. (I know that sounds crazy, but that's how my mind works from time to time.)
Many of you know, since we don't have kids yet, a big part of my life tends to revolve around my animals. We have 3 cats and 1 dog. This particular week, my animals reminded me a lot of myself. We have one cat that we call Little One. He was found abandoned as a kitten. I bottle fed him and his brothers until they were old enough to eat on their own. Little One was the runt of the litter, hence the name, and the only one we couldn't find a home for, so we ended up keeping him. The thing with Little One is that he is the sweetest cat in the world to me and Bobby, but he is literally scared of everything. If you come to our house, you probably won't even know that he exists because he will be hiding. We joke around and say he's scared of life, but it's really the truth. I remember one time we got him a new collar with a bell on it and had to take it off immediately, because he thought the bell was after him and he was frantically running around the house trying to get away from it. The only problem was that it was attached to him, and he couldn't figure that out. Struggles.
Her messages started coming again as there was fear of a second shooter. I told the ladies in the bookstore what was going on and one of them stood there and prayed with me again. Fear began creeping in as I tried to process what was happening and think of something calming to say to her. There really was nothing I could have said to help the situation, so I just sat down on the floor in the middle of the bookstore overwhelmed with emotion. It was then that the Lord reminded me of the passage out of Psalms 91 that I remember my journey girls talking about awhile back.
Psalm 91:9-10 "If you say, "The Lord is my refuge," and make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent."
Because of the anxiety and fear that I often experience, I have been reading this entire passage over and over again and it was amazing to see how it came to my mind when I really needed it. (I'm learning that's how the Holy Spirit works). I looked it up on my phone, read it, and sent a screen shot to Hannah. I don't know if it helped calm her or not, but for me, it was amazing how at peace I felt even in the midst of such an uncertain moment. The Lord spoke to my heart and said, "No matter what happens she is safe with me, and you don't need to worry about this."
Wow! For someone who has been afraid of so many things for so long, I felt like that was huge for me to actually feel the Lord comfort me in the midst of a real life crisis that felt like life or death in that moment. "She is safe with me no matter what." Isn't that the truth? We are safe with Him. He has everything in his hands and whether we are here on earth or with Him in heaven, we are safe, and there is such comfort in that.
This song has spoken so true to me over the past few weeks. You can listen here if you like, or read the words below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hi-VMxT6fc
You make me brave, You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave, You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the promises You've made
You make me brave, You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way
-Bethal Music
When we are living in an abiding relationship with Christ, when we believe his love made a way, and when we believe his promises are true, we don't have to live in fear. We feel safe. We are free to be brave, to be strong, and to be courageous because he gives us that boldness. We don't have to fear what will happen to our loved ones because they are safe with him. We don't have to fear the thorns in our lives because his grace is sufficient. He makes us brave.
That being said, I am weak in believing this and living it out, and I believe many of you are as well. That's why it's so important for us to encourage each other with this. I have a tendency to let my flesh take over. I remember a few weeks ago my husband Bobby was late coming home from work. My tendency is to begin to think about the worst possible thing that could have happened. In my mind, he had either electrocuted himself at work or had been in a traffic accident and was not coming home. Before I heard from him, in my mind I had already planned his funeral and decided which cat I would have to get rid of because I was not going to be a crazy cat lady. (I know that sounds crazy, but that's how my mind works from time to time.)
Our girl cat on the other hand, Layla, she is not afraid to meet a stranger. As long as there is not an extra dog visiting, she is going to come out and great you if you come over. She is going to tell you her story with boldness, and is going to make you want to listen every time. There are times, when I have to be honest and say that it's almost annoying because she can be so demanding for you to pay attention to what she has to say.
When I think about it though, I'd rather be like Layla. Brave. Not scared of life. Ready and willing to tell my story with boldness. To not meet a stranger. To love everyone. To accept everyone. Those are the kinds of people who make a difference in this world. People who are brave and fearless and willing to share their lives and their stories with people are the ones who make the difference in this world.
I was talking with my mom about my anxiety when we went on vacation last month. She told me I have always been anxious, and that even as a child I would cling to her side because I was afraid of everything. She said she remembered me breaking out of that when I was in college. Now that I think back on what she said, college for me was the point in my life when I was closest to Jesus. I was braver. I was bolder. I was more confident. I was more outgoing. It was after that when I went through the darker period in my life and my relationship with Christ wasn't where it should have been. I see now how the importance of abiding in Him affects my anxiety. I hope those of you who struggle with these same things will seek help in Him and seek relationships with other people who may have the same struggles who can encourage you.
Through everything that happened this week, I was reminded of this print that I have been meaning to get off my cousin's Emily's Etsy shop. She paints and draws quotes and scriptures and is very good at what she does! You can visit her page here and maybe find one that relates to you. https://www.etsy.com/shop/EmilyRobertsArt
The one I printed is taken from this verse:
Joshua 1:9-10 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
I will hang it somewhere in my house this week to remind me of the command and the promise we are given in that. We are to be strong. Courageous. Brave. Fearless. Not anxious. Not afraid. Not discouraged. He is with us.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control.
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